Chapter 3.7: Singing voice / Translucent Chaos - Chaos -

Singing voice

My complex towards singing is tremendous. I even feel embarrassed when the staff listens to my rehearsal recordings to check the structure of the songs.

When my first band with 345 disbanded, for some reason, I became vocalist and 345 became the bassist and vocalist, adopting a twin vocal style. But to begin with, I didn't start singing because I liked it.

When I was in elementary school, my family often went to karaoke. I would record multiple tracks of harmonies on a cassette deck for songs by Saru Ganseki（猿岩石 ）and let my sister listen... What? I really loved singing.

When I reflect on my past, it's astonishing how my complex, deeply ingrained in my mind, has paved the way in the opposite direction. Most of what shapes me is connected to my complex in a gradient manner, where the unreachable creation and the unattainable loss shine or refract like a prism.

From the moment I was born into this world until now, I haven't been able to grasp the concept of "individuality" when it comes to the voice I have been hearing through my bones. I can still somewhat perceive the guitar, which is outputted through an instrument, from a somewhat detached perspective.

The story of how I ended up singing one octave higher due to the reason of "not being able to hear my voice" when I joined the rehearsal studio around the time of Shigure's beginning has been told multiple times in interviews, but I don't really understand why I resorted to that technique. It's clear that the studio monitor was in bad condition and difficult to hear, and it's also I lacked the ability, but I remember feeling a tremendous dissatisfaction with the sensation of singing at that time. I knew precisely what it meant when I said, "I don't tremble when emitting my own voice."

Even when I watched music programs as a child, I oddly found myself consciously thinking, "This person's singing is like this," or "This person's voice is like that." That's why I become overly aware of how my voice reaches others. Although I am, in essence, myself in the form of a "person."

As a result of raising it one octave, my voice coincidentally became a sharp sonic image that determined the band's sound. However, that voice, like the band's music, is not something that appeals to everyone — it requires caution.

I received my first offer from "Music Station" (TV Asahi), which connected me and music many times. Although rock bands had been appearing little by little, I was surprised to receive an offer from a live music program broadcasted during that time slot.

Realistically, there were few elements that made me enthusiastic about singing in a live broadcast. Of course, it was an honor to receive the offer, and the staff around me worked hard to somehow coax a "YES" out of me to amplify the wave created by the anime "PSYCHO-PASS," for which I was the theme song artist. I recalled my grandfather jokingly saying, "I want to see Toru (my name) on TV someday. (いつかテレビで徹（僕の名前）を見たい)"

I myself vividly remember the impact I felt when watching LUNA SEA, Mr.Children, and B'z on TV. It was a sensation that gradually seeped in, like when the sensors become numb due to adrenaline.

Our main battlefield was live houses, we were out of place who don’t know either camera rehearsals or run-throughs, but the staff made incredible efforts in a short time to make our appearance possible, and we made our debut.

Immersed in J-POP and captivated by it as a boy, I stood on stage with considerably solid and edgy music. We didn’t aim to gain anything or achieve anything specific; we were just there to convey the fact that the music playing right now existed. Our music, which had nothing familiar about it, being broadcast at that time was quite unusual.

Unusual things are always perceived as foreign matter.

We may not be able to make a shallow impact on many people, but we deeply engrave ourselves with an incredibly sharp edge. My voice, before I knew it, had reached the place that once left me in awe. Somewhere in the world, perhaps it became a lightning bolt striking a small heart.

Before my grandfather passed away, he left behind the words, "I was happy to see Toru on TV. (テレビで徹を見られたことが嬉しかった) "