Believing in dislikes
When creating music, I don't see many things clearly. It's not like all the musical scores come to me in a flash of inspiration; it's a process of groping in the dark. Of course, it's best when I immediately come across phrases that make me tremble, but when that's not the case, I have no choice but to thoroughly eliminate what I dislike or feels wrong.
There's often just one phrase that serves as a starting point, and beyond that, everything becomes pitch black. Nonetheless, by exploring various possibilities towards the desired destination, while relentlessly discarding what I dislike or feels wrong, it is possible to approach something close to a "miracle."
Writing it like this may make it sound easy, but it evokes a grueling mental state that feels like it will never end. Troublingly, I'm the one who goes to meet my own excitement from the farthest distance.
I really like people who have things they dislike. Compared to the information provided by things they like, I feel like I catch a glimpse of their true essence, which has a much narrower range.
For example, it's more intriguing to hear someone say, "I like male-female twin vocals, but I struggle when the male vocalist sings in the same high key as the female vocalist" rather than just saying, "I like male-female twin vocals." It piques my interest more to hear someone say, "I like technical bands, but I dislike people who seem to struggle with reproducing their technical songs." I become overly curious.
Of course, I'm also interested in the moments when that person feels happiness, but it's as if a mental allergen strong enough to cause rejection allows me to touch the core that lies deep within that person. While sipping on a gin and tonic, I feel like I can get to know that person a little while providing unnecessary support for the "disliked things." Ah, I don't think someone who says they dislike natto has any reasons other than "disliking the sliminess" or "disliking the smell," so I don't have much interest in that.
I digressed, but not only "dislike," but also "pain" and "sadness" are always at the center of myself. They dig into my heart and linger in my brain, right beside "happiness", "excitement" and "stimulation".
Lyrics, vocal delivery, guitar phrases, distortion, rhythm fluctuations, font of text in visuals, T-shirt tags, color tones in photographs... not only in the music itself but in everything that surrounds me, my sensor of rejection reacts immediately.
Of course, it's not something that can be expressed solely with the word "dislike" but with the alert sounding, adjustments and arrangements are born, bringing me closer to the ideal. The hints to the destination that was unseen are right there. Depending on the timing and situation, it can become overwhelming when it keeps ringing incessantly, but there's always something I want to fulfill at the end of the journey.
My creativity, which cannot be put on silent mode, please continue ringing a little longer for me.
Kommentare