Sister and me
On the day I moved to Ibaraki without being told the reason during my elementary school days, I was playing in the schoolyard with my sister who was supposed to transfer schools with me. While I, unused to the large playground equipment that was not present in my previous Tokyo elementary school, felt a bit lost, my sister, who had exceptional athletic ability, effortlessly conquered the spinning jungle gym with acrobatic moves. She was always a standout athlete, often chosen as a relay runner in both elementary and middle school. The influence my sister, who seemed to be the complete opposite type from me, had on me is immeasurable.
My sister had always been a type of person who went against the norm since childhood. She had a nonconformist and crazy side, such as accidentally eating plant fertilizer, and she was flashy in everything she did and had many friends.
On the other hand, I was a reserved and quiet child in contrast to my sister. I lived quietly, avoiding conflicts, by observing and memorizing what my sister was scolded for doing.
Therefore, even if I had arguments with my sister, I was always the one who got scolded. Still, especially when I was very young, I think I was a little brother who always followed my sister wherever she went. We played together during our childhood, extracting colors from flowers to play with, sliding down the invisible slope under the pedestrian bridge with cardboard, and spending time searching for favorite pens in the stationery store — there are many memories of playing together from our early years. My reckless sister was both a teacher and a source of faint stimulation for me, who wanted to reach a little beyond my capabilities.
However, for some reason, my mother was strict with me, the quiet one following behind my sister. For me, who avoided conflicts while watching my sister, the biggest trap in life was having my greatest nemesis so close at hand.
During my school years, I felt that my mother excessively interfered with everything I did.
"Take piano lessons."
"Your handwriting is messy, learn calligraphy."
"You have acne, go see a dermatologist."
"You're short, you need to go to the doctor."
Looking back, I realized that as a mother, she was thinking about my future and her words and actions were meant for my own good. But for me, in the midst of my youth, I would think, "I haven't done anything wrong, so why do I have to hear all this..." and while my dissatisfaction grew, I began to accept it as "that's just how parents are." To this day, I have never encountered someone who was taken to the doctor simply because "the order of height is the front" during the early years in elementary school while still in the process of growth. I was indeed small, but isn't being tall or short just a relative thing?
Perhaps it's because I grew up in a strong and intense household that I can understand why people would describe me as a "quiet and unassertive child."
I wonder when it was that I stopped chasing after my sister's back. As we grew older, the time spent with my sister gradually decreased, and we drifted apart like typical siblings. Once my sister left home to attend university, we didn't even have the chance to see each other anymore.
It was thanks to my sister's study abroad in England, as mentioned in Chapter 1, and my own trip to England that we were able to regain our sibling relationship.
My sister abruptly quit the university she was attending in Japan and went to study abroad in Oxford. My sister to go to a university in Oxford that is not actually Oxford University, but I admire her dynamic actions. What surprised me the most was that she went to England even though she didn't speak English fluently.
As I mentioned before, I was forcibly sent to my sister's side by our mother. As a college student, I should have had a way to resist, but I remember just going along with it, even though I wasn't particularly interested. It seems that my mother strongly desired for me, as the younger brother, to have a stable job compared to my sister, who seemed to deviate from the expected path. When I asked my mother if she had the intention of saying "Go out of Japan and see unfamiliar scenery." she simply replied, "No, it's just so you can speak English." Even someone else's simple intention can be interpreted in various ways over time. It's up to the person how they incorporate those opportunities into their own lives. I happened to encounter a source of unexpected creativity through an unexpected opportunity and place.
In a foreign land, as a young and apprehensive person, my only reliance was my sister. However, my independent sister didn't offer much help, and she couldn't come to pick me up at Heathrow Airport. I was eager to arrive at the Oxford bus station, "Gloucester Green," as soon as possible to show what I was capable of. Naturally, there was no easy way to communicate from the airport, and if the plane was delayed or the bus was canceled, it would have been impossible to meet each other.
After getting off the plane and passing through the airport, I boarded a high-speed bus that I often took in Ibaraki. While feeling a bit relieved, I listened carefully, nervously recalling the advice my sister had given me before leaving, "Be careful because there's a similar bus stop nearby." As someone with poor listening skills, it was difficult for me to understand the distorted English output from the small speakers in the bus.
When the bus finally arrived at the stop, my sister, whom I hadn't seen in a long time, was waiting there. Having savored the gray scenery that flowed from Heathrow Airport, I felt a different sense of "overseas" compared to the family trips we had taken to Guam, Hawaii, and Saipan. In the darkness, I was brought to my sister's dormitory, knowing that there was no need to rush and restore our closeness, yet I couldn't figure out how to interact and was just restless.
As my sister showed me around the university and the dormitory, I observed her interacting with many friends and casually striking up conversations with passing students. Despite not being particularly studious, she effortlessly wielded English like a native speaker, which made her appear cool.
Studying English in an English-speaking country should be simple in theory, but in reality, it's quite challenging. Especially back then, when finding a homestay or a school required more effort as the internet was not as widespread. Even researching those things required English, of course. Later, I also experienced attending an English school and living in a homestay, but I found myself trapped in a loop of not knowing what I understood or what I was doing wrong, unable to even ask or comprehend.
In that foreign land, as I followed behind my sister with an envious gaze, it felt like nothing had changed from our childhood days.
Afterward, I would visit Oxford numerous times. Alongside my travel-loving sister, we would explore various parts of Europe starting from there. In other words, Oxford was our meeting point. We would board the unfamiliar budget airline, Ryanair, from Japan. Each country in Europe fascinated us with its rich history and vibrant life, becoming captivated by the distinct colors of each place. Unaware of the multifaceted aspects of each country, we would murmur things like, "This country is like this" or "This country resembles that place," based solely on what we saw. Yet, we were completely engrossed in the charm of those places, traversing the skies tirelessly.
Gradually, within me, a longing for unfamiliar landscapes and a curiosity for exploration grew. Because there was no one else with whom I could share that feeling besides my sister, the time spent with her gave me something irreplaceable.
In a rural town in Spain, I wrote a verse of "O.F.T" by the poolside of a villa-style accommodation. In Edinburgh, Scotland, I wrote the lyrics of "DISCO FLIGHT" at a McDonald's on Princess Street. Before I knew it, every sensory input from my sight became an indispensable presence that stimulated music and my central nervous system.
Since then, my sister and I have stayed in touch and frequently communicate. Just a while ago, I even received exchange rate information, saying, "The Euro has surged."
The land of England, which can be considered the origin of my musical journey. The memories I shared with my sister during those days in the seemingly gray city remain vividly colored, each one unforgettable.
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