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Chapter 3.4: A flash in Berlin / Translucent Chaos - Chaos -

Writer: Clover ZClover Z

A flash in Berlin


In 2013, I visited Berlin.


Shortly before that, I had a conversation with Polaris' Yusuke Oya. Yusuke had relocated to Berlin and happened to be back in Japan for work.


"Berlin is an incredibly art-friendly city. It'll definitely be inspiring," he said.



As someone who already had a fondness for Europe and had traveled there extensively, I felt a connection when the opportunity to have a conversation with Yusuke, who was living in Berlin, arose. So, I decided to choose Berlin as my travel destination, which I had been contemplating at that time. Even though I was scheduled to leave by plane a few days after the interview, I hadn't yet decided on my place of stay.


Around the same time, I started considering recording abroad.


"Due to Japan's high humidity, instruments born in dry countries don't produce their intended sound here." "Los Angeles, with its dry weather, allows instruments to sound better." These kinds of conversations naturally unfolded among music store employees and those knowledgeable about instruments. While I understood it to some extent, a part of me was skeptical, thinking, "If we adjust humidity and increase voltage in Japan, couldn't we achieve the same result?"


The truth was, those things didn't really matter. I simply wanted to venture out somewhere and discover new sounds. Before I knew it, I had bought a plane ticket for myself.


While browsing through various potential European destinations, imagining different scenarios, it was a blissful time. Despite not having a significant destination in mind, I even envisioned myself with a camera as if framing a shot using Street View. After indulging in fantasies of imaginary Google-sponsored street trips, I ultimately decided on Berlin.


For my place of stay, I chose a shared room with a piano. It was a house where two female friends lived, both of whom had an appreciation for art, and they kindly rented out a vacant room to me.



Although I approached the abundance of information regarding music and overseas experiences with a mixture of belief and skepticism, I wanted to be able to create music on the spot if inspiration struck. That's why I chose a place with a piano.

Based on my previous attempts at doing something similar, I also knew the challenges of composing music while being abroad. It was a strange contradiction where I was surrounded by unfamiliar scenery once I stepped outside the hotel, yet I couldn't bring myself to leave the room and create music.


Especially in countries I was visiting for the first time, I would grab my film camera and wander around every nook and cranny of the city from the very first day. In other words, even though I purposely sought out new landscapes, I couldn't find the motivation to create something inside the room. Nevertheless, at that time, I believe I had already associated going to Berlin with making music.


In October, Berlin was a comfortable season with dry air, where green and yellow leaves scattered vividly. I passed through charming alleyways from the main street and reached the top floor of a building with imposing doors, which served as my accommodation. An oil heater placed by the window seemed to eagerly await the arrival of winter, complementing the pleasant weather.



Berlin is a well-rounded city, not too flashy or heavy, with a harmonious coexistence of nature such as forests, lakes, and rivers within the urban landscape. Yet, the city exuded a high sensitivity as a source of art and creativity, felt in every corner. In places like remote islands in Ireland or the lake regions of Scotland, I would be overwhelmed by an inundation of inspiration behind the shutter, fearing that I might miss capturing every moment. Although the scenery was splendid, Berlin was just right for creating something. Taking photos or making music in the slightly compact cityscape both naturally fit into my journey.


Thanks to most residents being absent, I could freely play the piano and sing in the living room. The sound of playing the piano overseas for the first time felt different from playing it in Japan. Perhaps it was the influence of the air. With a slight excitement and anticipation, I felt that familiar premonition that occasionally comes before a song is born.


Usually, composing involved repeatedly opening and closing doors until reaching the "correct" answer. But on this day, for some reason, every door I opened led to the right answer.


The floor was asphalt, and the room had numerous openings with unobstructed views. Sunlight poured in generously on the top floor. Looking down at the cobblestone street adorned with yellow ginkgo leaves, I crafted words. The unfinished piano with its difficult phrases and numerous gaps seemed to welcome the words effortlessly. While intense compositions often focus on word count and vowel shapes, there was ample room for emotions in those gaps.


Before I knew it, I had completed a song titled "tokio." The host still hadn't returned. Outside the window, the cafe bars scattered throughout the alleyway were bustling with candlelight.


I wondered if this was how a genius always received melodies and lyrics as if they were descending upon them. My heart was somewhat elevated, as if I had caught a glimpse of that.


If a song was born in this place, I wanted to record it here. While a band would require drums and bass, as a solo artist, I could complete the recording alone with just piano and vocals. Unable to control the overflowing desire, I searched for a studio. I didn't know what was driving me so passionately, but I had become determined to somehow create visuals and music and bring them back home. As I had heard that Berlin was a "tolerant city for art," I discovered numerous small recording studios. Among them, I visited one studio that had a charming building as I had seen online, and I immediately liked it. Having a recording studio with drums in a regular apartment was an environment unimaginable in Japan.



Behind the recording console, there was a large opening that overlooked the city adorned with ginkgo leaves. I tried to start recording right away, but there were only software programs different from what I usually used. In broken English, I requested, "Please keep it in recording mode all the time." In simple terms, it meant continuously running a voice recorder, capturing satisfactory takes. Furthermore, since the room with the computer and the room with the piano were separate, I wanted to finish recording with a single press of the record button. I recorded the piano and vocals in one take and set up a tripod to capture the entire process.


Recording and shooting began with a sense of exhilaration, but operating the equipment, performing, and singing were not as easy as expected. With each take, I checked the audio and visuals while recording four minutes, and by the time I finished shooting, three hours had passed.


With the amount of equipment and the unfamiliarity of performing piano solo, I rushed through the recording like a storm, leaving no time to carefully check the sound. It was after returning to Japan that I was able to fully appreciate the nuances of the sound.


During the recording process, I was certainly captivated by the sound of the piano, but in the first place, I am easily captivated by any piano sound, and I am an amateur when it comes to recording. Moreover, listening to the sound resonating in the studio and how it actually reaches people's ears in the recording is a different story. When I listened to it again in my own studio after returning home, I was shocked to realize that "the atmosphere was captured in its entirety." Voltage, air, instrument condition, and studio acoustics are completely different, so I don't know where the factors lie, but it didn't matter. Yes, it didn't matter. The impulses, creativity, and inspiration that drove me that day were preserved in their original form. The fact that it happened was a miracle in itself.


The air of a place resides in the sound.

At the moment of recording and even when I was checking it back in the share room, I couldn't perceive the difference because I was still in that air. It was only after crossing the sea and returning to Japan, coming back to the space where I always am, that I was able to realize it for the first time.


But that's not all. The studio, the instrument, the microphone, and various audio elements overlapped and became a unique entity in that song. As time passed, its distinctiveness increasingly shook my heart and engraved itself deeper as something I could never catch up to again.


However, why am I able to instantly recall that sensation? It may be because the tense and fleeting air I felt in the Berlin studio is perfectly encapsulated. Perhaps it's also because the song is composed solely of the piano, allowing me to perceive certain aspects that I hadn't experienced with a band.


That conviction led to the creation of the mini-album 'es or s' by Sigure. I wanted to show someone the scenery I witnessed. Being able to do that with the three members of Sigure brought me unparalleled joy.


tokio - I gazed into my place from a distant land.




Tokio (lyrics)


Feel like an idiot, starting to think there's something different about this place.

馬鹿みたいだな この場所はなんか違うって思い始めてきて


What I want, what I wish to see, everything is just as I want it to be

欲しいもの 見たいもの 全部思い通りで


With one click, I could perhaps purchase the entire world.

クリック一つで世界も買えるんだろうな


Just one thing I ask of you.  Do you know what I want to see?

一つだけ君にお願いだ 僕が見たいものって何かわかるかな


Lost in the junk of happiness   It's hard to see the stars today

幸せのガラクタに紛れて 今日も星が見えづらいな


Feel like an idiot, starting to think there's something different about this place

馬鹿みたいだな この場所はなんか違うって思い始めてきて


Want to cover up anythings that shine

輝くものには蓋をしたくなるし


The bag with holes is always remains empty

穴の空いたバッグはいつも空っぽなんだ


I have just one request from you

一つだけ君にお願いだ


Do you know what this world doesn't have?

この世界に無いもの 何かわかるかな


Lost in the junk of happiness

幸せのガラクタに紛れて


It's hard to see me today too

今日も僕が見えづらいな


No matter how much I surpass myself

どれだけ自分を追い越しても


When morning arrives, everything rewinds

朝になれば全てが巻き戻ってさ


When I reach out, the answers are overflowing

手を伸ばせば答えが溢れ過ぎてて


Suddenly I'm broken and lost

ふいに僕は壊れて迷子になる


Chasing unfamiliar places

見慣れない場所を追いかけて


Forcefully seeking my place of belonging

無理やり自分の居場所を探したりして


Feel like people will hate me just the way I am

ありのままじゃ嫌われる気がして


Did you try to swallow yourself inside someone?

誰かの中の自分を飲み込もうとしたっけ


An era that has transformed beyond recognition

変わり果てた時代だなんて


Yet I,unable to change still cannot utter those words

変われもしない僕にはまだ言えもしないな


There's something wondrous about this place

何か不思議だ この場所は


Despite fulfilling everything I want, everything I wish to see

欲しいもの 見たいもの 全部叶えてくれるのに




ーーー


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